...

i haven't been to this space in quite some time.

my camera broke, then the computer i use to upload 

photos, broke...and in the summer money is, well...

lets just say cameras are fixed with tape and second computers are shelved.

this break has lead to a break from social media in general.

this is good.

we have been enjoying our summer.

it hasn't followed the plans i envisioned.

-lots of swimming, vacations, bike rides, camping...-

mostly because it has been so hot here.

it is in the hundreds, easily, most days.  no rain, no breeze, just hot

sticky- can't breath steaminess.

we have been to the pool a few times and we will go some more,

but camping and riding bikes it out of the question.

i usually don't mind hot summers. i have worked outside

the past three summers.

however, i am 35, and the idea of shoveling, lifting, trimming brush in this

blanket of heat- seems awful.

have i outgrown my romantic ways?
-or- is this weather iNsaNe

i use to love to sweat and get dirty outside and end the day with a cold beer

and reggae tunes on the front porch.

hopefully i am still that wild gal at heart.  

maybe i am just getting older, or my tastes our changing.

either way i have found myself dreaming of moving to colorado, or northern 

california or at least near the ocean.

i miss outside.

the little one is throughly enjoying the summer program she is in a few days a week.

their are 'old' friends, picnics, ice-cream treats, and craft making.
each session they focus on a new theme...so far, the deep blue sea,
what's in the backyard, the vast landscape and soon outer space.

she has been doing the summer reading program
 at our local library and has won several wonderful prizes.

we have a new puppy who we adore! her name is Suki and she is a wauzer.

she is the sweetest most cutest pup.
we have been attending bi-monthly potlucks with sweet friends.
pollywog and the children frolic with flushed cheeks while we sip new
summer concoctions, share yummy foods and play games.

i am planning to retire this blog and start a new one.

my life is in such a different place compared to when i started fishdreams.

that is an understatement.

its time for a fresh breeze to blow through. a new look, a new beginning.

i will leave a link to this new space once it is up and running.

i am in a transition. i can feel it. my spirit is quiet, so is my voice.

paths are forming and i am learning to embrace who i have become.

older, wiser, careful, and maybe not so free-spirited. 

i am learning to embrace the new, and reach for what i have always wanted,
and accept what i have lost.
this journey is difficult at times but it is mine.
the hardest mountain i climbed i did with one strong leg
and when i looked behind, it was a hill instead.
(from my ~Tales of the Nomadic Tree~poems)

so far

- we have floated around a lazy river

- bounced on the enormous down filled bed in our room

- sat in our jacuzzi tub just for fun

- watched a magnificent, music accompanied fire-work display sitting on a lawn over a lake

- watched pollywog and other children gleefully dance while music filled the sky

- eaten breakfast on our balcony overlooking the water

- cheered the lil one as she scaled a climbing wall

- spent an entire day swimming at pool complete with waterfalls,
views of rolling hills and far away lakes...
catching pollwog the many, many times she jumped to my happy arms and clapping as she 

showed mommy how she can swim.  

- went on a moonlit, bullfrog serenaded walk

and we have three more days!!!

we still plan on more pool time, paddle-boating, canoeing, bonfire and smores, 

minature golf, movie night in the pool, ice-cream, and maybe a little R&R :)

as i type this a sunkissed gal is pleasantly snoring next to me probably

dreaming of jumping into my arms and doggy paddling back to the side.

because that never gets old...not even for this achy armed mama.

we are having the best vacation evah!

::mahalo::

my regular computer is having some issues

thus no images in this post.

which is too bad because i have some great 

pictures taken over the past week.

for instance "game night" photos.

i met some great families while teaching, oddly enough 

some of the parents i use to run with back in my early twenties.

now we are grown up with kids and it has been great to reconnect.

this small group that is forming came to my cinco de mayo gathering

and we all decided that monthly we would rotate houses and host pot-lucks,

game nights, movie nights, etc. it has been an answer to many prayers.

our little girls play together non-stop, there are sweet babies
to coo over, there is always yummy foods, and lots of 

laughter and story telling.

it is a lovely mix that i am grateful for.

this past friday was our first game night.

most of the night was spent on blankets on the lawn

sampling different cheeses, bowls of melons, pasta salads, bean salad, 

and sipping tequila sunrises and mint conditions.

the girls played in the sandbox, dressed up in princess wear, and 

made good use of all the new, to them toys of the host's daughter.

there was a slack line and attempts to balance, and a game of charades 

complete with belly laughs.

::mahalo::

least i forget i must mention the momentous amount of images

from thursday when my sweet pollywog graduated pre-k.

there was a cap and certificate ceremony where my sweet one

was introduced as the artist of the class 

swoon

 i went home with arm fulls of potted flowers and chocolates

from the sweet children i was blessed to teach.

but all the images will have to grace this space

another day,

because we are off to a four day vacation for memorial weekend.

i had settled myself to staying home and relaxing

but the universe heard my inner pleas for a small trip,

and the beginning of summer memories with my lil one.

so we were given this gift of four nights at an all inclusive lodge.

jacuzzi, several pools, game rooms, tonight a firework show over the lake, 

bbq and music, hiking, paddle boating, mini-golf, ice-cream stands, and loads of memories to be made.

i am so beyond excited and feeling mighty blessed.

last night her and i packed and she had all her favorite outfits laid out

and we did happy dances in between.

when we return there will be pictures.

::mahalo::

::words&pics from our weekend::

our weekends have been full with the addition of soccer.

thankfully the weather has been beautiful each game.

initially when pollywog started soccer i wasn't sure if it

would be "her thing"...she is a bit shy when it comes to be around groups

of people. at the first practices and games she would hide behind mommy

or i would have to walk out onto the field with her, and when folks cheered

 she didn't like it.

but a couple games under her belt and this girl has blossomed on the field.

saturday was a double header and last games of the season.

she received a medal and was elated! "mommy my first medal".

the team calls her the closer! she gets out there and plays hard and made the one

and only goal of the season!

she loves soccer. she always has a huge smile on her face.

she loves being goalie, but also loves the constant running back and forth.

watching her play has been such a joy.

she wants to start T-ball now.

i have a feeling she is gonna be my little sporty girl.

no matter, watching her confidence grow and the happiness on her face

has made this mama feel very blessed.

 this summer she'll play t-ball and take swimming.

this fall she will do cheer-leading at her kindergarten and start violin.

i want to offer her the world and let her learn about herself and grow.

i am so proud of her.

there are just two short days left of pre-k.

this sentimental mommy has been feeling a bit emotional about 

these milestones. it all happens so fast.

this ::time::

the school days have been filled with fun activities.

thursday is graduation and a celebration.

she has made such dear friends this year.

i enrolled her in a two day a week- four hour day- summer program

that all her buddies will be attending.

it should be fun! 

she is pretty excited.

there will be themes such as "under the sea"

 "outer space", "my backyard" and so on.

so on these two days i will do my gardening and landscape

and the other days i will be watching a classmate of her's and his

little sister and we will spend the summer at the pool, 

camping, sports,crafting, road-trips and seeing daddy.

  i  am looking forward to being home with her.

although i have enjoyed teaching this year, 

i found myself zapped after work.

being a pre-school teacher is exhausting!

i have felt zero inspiration for painting or art in general.

i was asked to put a series up but have just felt uncreative.

so starting next week i plan to paint 

and i am experimenting with primitive pottery this summer too!

this memorial weekend we are headed out to canoe and camp!

i am so looking forward to relaxing by the fire, soaking in the beauty

of the float and making some fun crafts at the camp-site i have planned.

but before this weekend there are endings to celebrate, 

a neglected garden to tend, and moments i don't want to miss.

simple, sometimes unnoticed, once in a lifetime moments.

::life::

verde

 we drink alot of green smoothies round here.

pollywog has been partaking in them since she started on solids and CJ rarely passes

up a tall smoothie packed with greens and fruit.

it has been so nice to walk out into the garden in the morning, cut some greens,

blend em up and enjoy.

the freshness is oh so good.

this past week i started back to work, in the garden i have worked at the past few seasons.

  i have missed this soil. 

i have just two short weeks left at the preschool

and then i will be back working in the garden i built and cultivated as well as my seasonal groundskeeper position i have held with this dear friend.

this work is the work that feeds my spirit. 

it is the place i speak to God. 

a place of peaceful meditation.

 a place i teach my daughter the joy of digging, growing, observing and harvesting.

this day she brought her fairy dolls into the garden and was fully absorbed

in her make believe world while i harvested a large amount of greens.

then while she perched on the counter top, i washed and spun the greens

there were so many after giving "my boss" his portion

that i decided to blend them and freeze them to pop into our daily smoothies.

 i froze two varieties of lettuce and kale.

pollywog was fascinated by the process and was my helpful worker.

it fills my heart for her to see where food comes from.

to be a part of the process.

she is thoughtful about the food she puts into her body.

of course she likes popsicles, and cookies here and there,

but she often says, good food before junk food.

she is aware of what and why regarding food.

lately she is curious as to why i, a 16 year vegetarian doesn't eat meat.

although i only cook meat about twice a week for her, i have never

pushed this choice on her. she naturally seems to sway from meat as there 

are so many other choices of fresh, colorful foods at meal times.

in any case we are enjoying the bounty both from our garden

and the garden i work in.

i want to learn as much as i can.

on another note:

things that have been on my mind lately:

* thoughts become things...i watched this documentary last night and fell asleep with a 

smile on my face...and visions in my heart.

* ::love:: this year has been a year that has offered me the opportunity to learn

the lesson of love. without getting to personal, situations have arose where the opportunity

for growth and learning presented themselves.

seeing my own growth in these situations has been humbling.

realizing that the elimination of ego, whose right-whose wrong, etc

 and the choice to just love has been, well, life changing.

everything i do i will do in love.

something i heard touched me and it has become my mantra and the sentence my 

kids will probably tire of hearing.

"Reputation is what you do when other people are watching. Character is what you do when no one is watching."

applying this to my life is something very important to me.

* babies...i have major baby fever!

especially with all this recent extended breastfeeding talk. having breastfed my daughter

till she was 3 1/2, co-slept, and practiced attachment parenting, 

 i am such an advocate for this style of parenting. 

for me it was just a natural extension of myself.

seeing my daughter today at age 5 i can clearly see all the benefits this rearing has done

and continues to do. there have been no negatives to attachment parenting i have seen- just benefits

and the beauty of honoring your children and yourself as a instinctual parent.

 i do long for more children and the ability to continue to experience the journey of parenting.

this is my prayer.

- road-tripping with my brood this summer

- tennis...i start my lessons in june!!!!

- primitive pottery and art

pollywog and i are going to forage clay this summer and experiment with primitive pottery.

i ordered a book on amazon regarding such things.

also i am finishing my paintings because i was asked to hang them in 

st louis!!! soon as my teaching gig is up i will commit to setting aside time to paint.

geez i need to go to bed.

::night::