~todays moments~

today's green smoothie: spinach, fresh organic strawberries, banana and filtered water

park time

after watching the movie "Cool Runnings" (I love this kid)

eating our favorite summertime pasta, "Paradise Pasta"

reading

drumming and dancing

and well...just wanna know...is there anyone else out there who pretends to cry after putting in eye drops, or am I the only nerd?

end the night with a game of cribbage...

a walk in the woods

Yesterday we tried to get ahead of the days heat, and take the kids for a little hike in the morning. Rain cooled the air a bit, but by the end of our trek, we were sticky and hot.
No matter, we had fun and saw wild turkeys, squirrels perched on logs eating found nuts, beetles with pretty shells, dragonflies circling the pond, and pollywog's favorite observation, ants.
CJ is growing up so fast and I am are making sure to connect with him each day. The memories we have made with him running through the trees, out in the desert discovering oasis, sand dune streams, mud baths (he always finds mud), star guided hikes, fishing with sticks in secret creeks 
Pollywog finds so much joy in nature as well. She has the curiosity and kindredness that reminds me of my grandfather. Nature knows her and she is home in it's midst. We called her river when she was still in my womb. Each body of water she passes is noticed and spoken of. She is quiet and inquisitive. She loves to sit and watch a bug crawl, look for hidden birds singing in the distance and feel freedom under her wandering legs.
Glee is abundant in the outdoors and even more so when shared with the ones you love.

yesterday in black and white

breakfast of champions...



first time going to the story hour at the library...

pool time...

making late night brownies...(and weird faces)

It's Raining, It's Pouring

Last night we fell asleep to the sounds of thunder and rain, this morning we awoke to the same.
So what do you do on a rainy Saturday?

well-you make "rain tea"...


you open all the windows in the house and let the wind blow the rain onto your face...


you bake pre-made chocolate chip cookies...
but first, you taste test...


then you eat the baked cookies...


you play Trivial Pursuit...(and according to these pics, you don't fix your hair)




...well, you try and play Trivial Pursuit when the board isn't being sat upon, or your board markers aren't taken captive...


you snuggle...


you get serious about winning...


Results: the winner was CJ

gotta love rainy, summer days.

Summer Nights

Warm, humid sunshine kept us indoors most of the day. We laid around like lazy cats, stretching every now and again or creeping into the kitchen in search for food. There was talk about what we should do today? Should we go to a dollar movie? Walk around the air conditioned mall? Maybe go to the science center?...we chose to stay home. So we flipped through magazines, took naps, ate watermelon and berries, and sipped sun tea.
As the sun began to fall we dipped our toes outside and saw that the temperature was right.
Right for bluegrass at a nearby town's Farmers Market, right for a friend of CJ's to sleepover, right for ice cream on the drive home. Right for catching lightning bugs in a jar, right for running in the yard in the dark and right for playing two square in the driveway.
Summer nights always feel right.

today

Fresh strawberries, blueberries,bananas, Kefir and beets blended into a yummy smoothie
Her new craft table

Sprinkler fun...wet toes and watercolors
Tool time with a box of wood and grandpa's old work bench

The perfect day...

Do you ever have one of those days when everything runs smoothly and falls into place? You know, the kind of day when you often think, "why doesn't every day work like this?"
Well that was the kind of day I had today.
As I do every morning, I woke up to a smiling, laughing, hugging and kissing pollywog. We had a nice breakfast and she even colored while I drank my coffee. This is a rarity as I am often downing it or drinking it cold... CJ even stuck around the house today, which too, is rare. He is usually off with his friends riding bikes, swimming, getting scrapped knees.
I took the kids to the pool and we had such a nice time. I had time to relax today, I got to work out and noticed that my endurance is building. The house stayed fairly clean today. I had energy all day. I ate healthy and didn't snack, much. Everyone was in a good mood all day. I got to have one on one time with both my children. 
Days like this don't come often. So when they do I treasure them and and gear up for the normal days when life is hectic and adventurously unpredictable. The days that allow me to appreciate the ones like today.
I have to say, today was a good day.

Monday's Moments

We decorated the driveway

Daddy took her to the park to feed the ducks, run in the grass, and look at airplanes in the sky

We played in the pool while big brother and his friends did fancy footwork on the slip-n-slide

weeeeeeeee...off the slip-n-slide and into the mud

I made a fort that mostly I played in...

aaahh, summer!

My Paparazzi ...

does your family follow you around the house?
Is this scene familiar to anyone else?
Often when I leave the restroom I am greeted by my loving family.
Apparently they cannot stand to be away from me for mere minutes.
I got so tickled today upon my exit, I just had to take a picture...


...and yes, my son has a pillow on his head...and no, I don't know why.
...yes, the beds are on the floor, we co-sleep...someday we will have nice bedroom furniture...someday

Confessions from the hood...the mother-hood

Yesterday as I sat in a pool of olive oil and black beans in the middle of my kitchen floor, my dear and generous son, saw me, wrapped his kind arms around my neck and said, "you are the best mom ever, and I love you just the way you are." (ahhh, melt)
How did I end up in this concoction, being comforted by my teenager? Well, I better back up some.

I have been having one of those days, (weeks, months...) where I feel like I just can't measure up.
To what? well, that is the part I figured out yesterday.
This newfound blog world has had me perusing all the wonderful mama blogs out there. I am amazed by all the creative and energetic moms. They are inspiring, provoking and educational. Blogging has given me a much needed creative outlet and a place to reflect and even feel connected. On the other hand it seems that I also compare myself to these great women and well, I feel like poo...when really I should be honoring their talents!
Lately, I have been trying so hard to fit this stereotype of mother/housewife. Making, well trying to make, pancakes and muffins for breakfast... cute crafting...baking...you know the whole thing...then I get pissed at myself that we're not getting up at the crack of dawn and being all organized, scheduled, and smiling neatly through our daily crafts... blah, blah, blah ( why don't I wear hand-made aprons and make Martha Stewart recipes? waaaa)
Yesterday I was in my, "typical as of lately", mode...trying to get pollywog and CJ to eat a good breakfast, do laundry, get rid of the ants that moved in yesterday, keep the kitchen clean (ha), all while trying to entertain and stimulate the kids and then, set the kiddie pool up in the front yard and let pollywog play in it b/c I was feeling guilty that we were not doing "summer things"- which was a task getting her in her suit, making snacks (that no one ate but me), filling water bottles (that no one drank but me), pool toys (that she didn't play with) , ahhh then finally in the pool, oh wait she would rather play in the grass...(of course) -okay it's nap time...now it's dinner time, let her play with dry beans in a pot while I make dinner and, (yes, clean up the kitchen) oh I forgot about the wet laundry in the washer all day...she is throwing beans all over the floor, large bottle of olive oil slips from my hands and breaks on the ground, olive oil everywhere----I give up and plop to the floor. This is where my son and his kind words comes in.
Thankfully my husband walks into the door a few minutes later and I promptly, walk out of it to get some air.
As I drove around I wondered, why am I having such a hard time navigating my life right now?
Well- I realized, b/c I am trying to live someone else's.
As I continued to reflect I realized- I don't know who I am anymore. I have been trying so hard to be this perfect mom, that I regularly forget to just be me, as a mom.
(I have also let fear take over my life. I envy mom's who don't worry daily about their toddler choking on foods, or getting hurt or sick. Letting them gnaw on sticks and explore their independence- (this is a whole other thing I am working on...I promise, I'm really not a total mess)
anyway.....a weight began to lift from my shoulders as I began to remember the me, under all this "stuff".
Me...the girl who loves to drive with the windows down listening to music. Me...the artist who sees colors and images and life in everything. Me...the wanna be surfer chic.
Me...the woman who loves to have a home full of laughter, creativity and freedom.
Me...the woman always ready to try something new. Me...impulsive, naive, silly and flighty. Me...the girl who still gets excited sometimes that I can stay up as late as I want. Me...the woman who loves to dance. Me...the mom who loves slumber parties with my hubby, son and daughter. Me...the lady who doesn't like to clean- and really doesn't like to cook except sometimes when I am in the mood (did I mention I cannot make pancakes to save my life.) Me...the girl who still puts on pretend cooking shows while cooking. Me...the little girl who is still mourning the loss of her daddy, me... my daddy's girl.
I love goals, and I still want to learn to sew, learn to play my mandolin, get up early and work out, learn to be somewhat organized, learn some craft ideas, learn some yummy recipes, learn to not let fear control my life...
The truth is that the skills... of being a mom and housewife don't come easy to me. I am just not good at it by nature. What does come easy is loving my kids, coming up with good ideas, having fun and always being there to listen, and supporting them. The rest, well I have to try really hard at.
but, yesterday I learned that my aspirations have to be my own, not someone else's. I also learned through the words of my son, that I am fine, just the way I am. In fact he said,
I 'm the best.

Be Still and Wonder

This morning we awoke to the life, giving rain- We sat in front of the window letting the mist, spray our face.
We watched the patterns the rain made- we pretended the rushing water in the drain outside was a river. I believed it
danced to Joni Mitchell and I closed my eyes and sang from my heart.
mmmmm, life...today... I grasp you... (or maybe, you grasped me)