life has begun a new pace
i am a woman/artist of cycles
not the obvious one
but rather i go through phases where my mind and body crave
solitude and quiet- a time to reflect, journal, just be.
i find myself in a place where i feel uncomfortable because
i seem to be lacking motivation (this is one i am currently in)
i find myself often sitting and reading, jotting notes, devouring documentaries online,
and mentally marinating in an abundance of information, ideas, images, etc.
this time is often followed by a time where my energy/motivation increases
slightly so, and all the jumble and mess in my overflowing brain
gets a douse of clarity and organization.
a time i begin to untangle it all and form clear ideas.
this doesn't just apply to my art, it applies to all aspects of my life.
plans and goals for the future, new arrangements in the house, recipes, activities with pollywog,
this time is usually and hopefully followed by productivity.
a burst of projects scattered and worked on in every corner.
many proverbial balls above me.
there is a flurry, a "what might seem to the outsider" craziness and even a chaotic energy
but to me it is a purging of weeks, sometimes months, even years of ideas and plans
that have been stewing inside me.
drifting in and out of my dreams.
keeping me awake at night...
and the best part
these ideas, goals,gnawing thoughts, concepts- were- passing thoughts that were captured,
brewed, and slowly and magically began to connect and become reality.
doors start opening, people enter our lives, and synchronistically all that's suppose to occur
seems to come together.
that is the word i would describe it all.
in any case i have been stewing in the "collecting phase" for weeks now and reminding
myself, when i feel unproductive or lazy,
that its all my process and it doesn't have to look like anyone else's.
that everything is coming together.
paintings are forming, new art projects are breaking through,
crafts and learning opportunities to do with the little one are mentally being planned-
the plans i have dreamed for my life are continuing in a forward motion
doors are opening and i am walking through them just the way i should
not running as i did in my youth
but walking and trusting.