::i change::

i am excited to shed 2011 
it was a difficult year for our family
however some of the most beautiful moments of my life occurred.
parts of myself have emerged that i had thought were gone forever.
i have a contentedness about me now that i have not experienced before.
it was a quiet and patient process
one i did not rush
i allowed myself to feel sad
and happy
the latter sometimes the most difficult one to do.
i feel as though i was in a cocoon developing
and I'm slowly evolving into the woman i have always longed to be.
the lessons of the past year have been heavy
but in them i learned how to be light
to give myself and others 
to love my fellow man through the knowledge that we all 
have our stories, our reasons 
and we all deserve to be able to be who we are
without judgement.
the biggest lesson i have learned that i will always keep with me
is to 
let go.
for it is in the letting go
the stepping away
the giving to God
where we see the true beauty of one another
and ourselves.
- i will speak gentle even when angered
conducting myself in a peaceful manner with my children and others is very important to me.
when i am in the presence of gentleness it captures my attention more than when someone speaks
loudly. pollywog listens more intently when i speak softly with her
and take the time to listen and discuss matters.
- my words will be encouraging to others
- i will provide more times of quiet and peace in the home.
without television this has already occurred.
this evening pollywog was coloring and i was reading and she remarked
on how quiet the home was...peaceful.
she said "im glad we don't have the television anymore bc we do more things.
- i will not speak disparaging about myself
- i will eat more raw fruits and veggies
- i will spend more time outdoors with my little one and alone
- i will be more active and let my body do what it was made to do: move
- i will be more active with my arts and crafts
- i will continue learning the skills to live the life i have longed for.
one based on the values of simplicity, quality, and time spent in value.
i.e: baking all of our bread, learning how to raise chickens,
sewing, knitting, photography, home-made foods
for self-sufficiency, gardening, etc.
- i will make our mental and physical health a priority via what we eat, how we spend our time, 
being active, thankful, and nurturing.
- i will be more thoughtful about consumption and consumerism by not being wasteful.
composting, not buying brand new items but rather thrifted items (if needed), using what we have or doing
without. not using papertowels, finding new ways to use old items, getting rid of what we don't use or need.
- we will accomplish hikes in this area i have put off, taking the little one canoeing and camping.
- travel to craft fairs this summer to sale our wares.
- a big goal i have for 2012 is to travel with pollywog to hawaii to visit.
now for one of these resolutions i began today:
bread baking. 
i plan to make all of our breads.
its cost efficient, healthier, makes the home feel cozy, and is a therapeutic process.
Soulemama has a great suggestion for storing home-made bread that I would like to do as well.
i will conclude this with a kiss.
pollywog made me a special gift tonight
she calls it the "kiss sender"
she posed me and photographed me sending kisses